If you ask me whether I prefer dating or being married, I choose the latter.
Some people might be afraid of commitment and I totally understand it. I also had this problem at the beginning of my relationship with Timon. Being in love with someone can be scary! Some are afraid to become dependent on the other person, others don’t like the idea of compromising and the list can go on and on. I can identify myself with the these two points. Most importantly, one of the reasons why I was afraid of commitment is loving a person so much that losing them can drive me completely crazy (I mean becoming insane and not being able to function in society anymore. Yes, that crazy!). Let’s be honest; I just can’t bare the pain.
Dating is fun. You can see the person whenever you feel like it and the feeling of having butterflies in your stomach still exists. You don’t have to share the same house or bank account if you don’t want to. And what do you have to lose, really?
Being married on the other hand is not always fun. You have to make compromises and you can get so caught up with work and household chores that you don’t have time for each other. You have to watch out for your expenses because you have a mortgage to pay at the end of the month. You can’t just buy the pair of Louboutins that you’ve dreamed of your whole life without consulting your spouse or the Nespresso machine that makes the best coffee in the world because your husband doesn’t drink coffee and thinks it’s a waste of money.
So why do I choose marriage in the end? Because I believe true love is not about feeling a certain way or being afraid of losing someone. True love to me is about making a decision to love and spend the rest of my life with the chosen one, regardless of all his flaws and the obstacles on our way. It’s not about losing myself, but instead, with my true love, I discover who I truly am. He sees things in me that I don’t see.
I feel more “free” now that I’m married: I’m not afraid to display my flaws and bad habits because I know he’ll point them out with love and for me to change for the better. I don’t feel the need to impress him. With or without makeup, he still loves me. And most importantly, true love doesn’t fear anything.
That’s the reason why I love being married.
What about you? How do you view marriage?
photos // Dating Years by George Fok | Engagement and Wedding photos by Junophoto