How’s married life? That’s the question I was often asked when meeting a friend for the first time after our wedding. Great! That’s the answer. I never really take the time to elaborate on it though. Perhaps because I was never asked to, but I’m sure deep down, some people are curious to know what it is like to be married. For me anyways, I was really curious to know how people change, or don’t change, after they get married. I, myself, had wondered whether or not I’d stay the same.
I can say for a fact that marriage does change people. It could bring the best out of us… but also the worst. Just to give you an idea, I don’t get irritated easily, even when someone criticizes me. In general, I can take criticism. However, when Timon does it (out of love of course!), I get super duper offended. And I don’t know why! When I think about it, it just doesn’t make sense. Some people may criticize me for the sake of it and because nothing they say is constructive, it makes it easy for me to ignore their comments. But when my husband criticizes me, and although I know fully well that he does it to help me become the best that I can be, I take it as an attack. Why? It still remains a mystery to me. If you’re experiencing the same thing in your relationship, please share, and if you have an answer, or shall I say an antidote, please let me know by commenting below!
So marriage can bring the worst out of an individual, but the bright side is that it can make you a better person. I’ve learned to be selfless and to do things out of love and for nothing in return. I can wash the dishes, cook and clean the house everyday of my life to serve my husband. I’d do it with great joy because I love him, and that’s one of the ways I can show it – which brings me to the next characteristic of married life.
Married life is tiring. When Timon and I were dating, we both were still living with our parents. We had nothing to worry about other than our exams and spending time with each other. After our dates, we went to our respective homes to eat, study and sleep. Now that we’re married, a lot has changed. We (more like I) have to take care of the house, meaning washing the dishes and clothes, mopping the floor, making sure the bills are paid on time, cooking, etc. It’s physically and sometimes emotionally exhausting. When you have your own place to take care of, it’s almost like another full-time job. Add the kids (one day!) and there you have it: three full-time jobs! Two that are not paid and one of the two being the most rewarding. Can you guess which one? 🙂
I remember after the first two months of married life, I found out the hard way that I cannot always try to do everything in the house by myself. I’ve realized that one way I cope with stress is by doing household chores (Weird, I know. Washing dishes calms my nerves and I like to do it while watching Youtube videos on my iPad. #storyofmylife), but when I do too much, I get irritated! It took me a while, but I later learned to let some things go (Let it go! Let it go! The song from FROZEN is playing in the background). Part of being in a relationship is that you’re no longer doing things alone. Your spouse is there to help you and share with you the joys, burdens and responsibilities of life.
What do you think? 🙂
image // engagement photo from junophoto